This is how you prove your social competence

Hardly any term is as charged as the social competence . Behind this are often positive key skills such as teamwork, motivation or communication skills. And not infrequently, social competence of personnel is even called as a significant recruitment criterion, synonymous with a kind of personality skills . According to a study by the Federal Institute for Vocational Training, so-called soft skills , and thus also social skills , account for around 40 percent of professional success: We do not work alone ... But what about the demanded ability and what really distinguishes it?

Definition: What is social competence anyway?
The much-hyped property is one of the so-called social skills or soft skills . Their presence is thus, in contrast to a hard qualification (hard skills) measurable neither by a degree or by a certificate.

Social Competence Softskills Hardskills Overview Graphic
Rather, the social competence usually reveals only in togetherness.

However, this is quite early: even in kindergarten or elementary school , children reveal and train their social skills (see also this questionnaire of the Federal Employment Agency: PDF ).

The definition of the term often refers to the ability to match one's own action goals with the attitudes and values ​​of a group - and thus to a certain extent influence the behavior and attitudes of this group.

Therefore, social skills are often equated with social intelligence and social empathy . Those who own them are able to act adequately and wisely in all social interactions with others.

In short: This is how someone looks less often and has a binding effect - in the double sense of the word.

However, the range of social skills is enormous. Often a distinction is made between four fields: dealing with oneself, dealing with others, the skills in cooperation and the leadership qualities:

Social Competence Spectrum Abilities Graphic
However, the most common features of social competence are characteristics such as:


reliability
credibility
empathy
tolerance
load-bearing capacity
frustration tolerance
criticism
willingness to learn
assertiveness
Just the last point deserves a little more attention, it seems to be in conflict with the rest : Who enforces, acts on most of them so not so socially competent ... rather bossy, dominant to arrogant. A mistake!

Although the concept of social competence is almost exclusively positive, it somehow excludes - for many - social interactions such as heated debates, arguments and arguments.

In fact, conflicts are a regular part of living together, and even more: they are almost inevitable in everyday working life in order to distil the best solution from a variety of suggestions and ideas.

Truly socially competent people must therefore have the (rare) gift of combining, in a situational manner , two opposing behaviors that are at first glance , and using them in such a way that they can achieve their own goals within social relationships without jeopardizing the relationship itself.

In other words, social skills include two basic skills ...

The talent for cooperation (social competence)
The constructive ability to conflict (self-competence)
Team athletes are not automatically team players
Team athletes are not automatically team playersDoes team sport really make you team player? Again and again, applicants decorate their curriculum vitae with the subtle hint that they play football, volleyball, basketball or other team sports. The subtext: I'm not a lone fighter, but racketeer for the team, can insert me and am also sociable. Team sport as proof of social competence - but that is a mistake. A great even.

Anyone who practices team sports does not automatically have higher social skills. This is the result of a study by the Osnabrück University of Applied Sciences, which thus invalidates a typical credo of personnel selection.

The study author and expert in diagnostics and personnel selection, Professor Uwe Kanning, states: "There is no connection between social competence and sporting commitment: " In the CV, the claim to be active in sport is welcomed by many employers and is regarded as an indicator of social responsibility Competence. But there is no indication that team athletes are more capable of teamwork than individual athletes. "

A total of 360 subjects completed a questionnaire for the study, measuring their social skills and whether they are active in sports - either in a team or in a single sport.

In the subsequent comparison with a so-called standard sample of 4000 people, however, no significant differences were found. Or in short: athletes are in no way different from people who do not do sports - at least not with regard to their ability to work in a team.

The business psychologist advises companies, therefore, not to unload any applicants just because the reference to any team sport is missing in the CV, Kanning: "This can be a clear wrong decision. And given the shrinking selection of applicants in many industries, HR should not act prematurely. "


Social competence - an important career factor
Fellows avoid saying punTo put it bluntly: Who is socially competent, must therefore not be a better or thoroughly sympathetic person . Although this is a desirable development, but usually also a naive desire.

Because, of course, leaders of Mafia organizations, con artists or dictators are highly socially competent - otherwise, they would hardly have managed to bring together so much power and social credit. Only this then often leads to abuse of power. But this is another story…

At the same time, however, the negative examples show that social competence is an essential career factor - no matter in what profession or profession.

The best qualification, all knowledge and skills use little to nothing, if you can not convince others of it or inspire it. After all, professional success first results from the interaction of individual groups and individual interests, which must be skilfully managed together.

First indications, if you have this ability , can give you these statements:

I easily find new friends - even among colleagues.
It is easy for me to understand the motives of others .
I can motivate and convince others well .
I can others criticize , without offending them or discourage .
I praise more often than I give negative feedback.
I find similarities more than divisions.
I like to trust others and also like to give up responsibility.
I can accept compromises well .
I do not have to have the last word in discussions .
I can subordinate my interests well to those of the team.

The more frequently you could agree with the above statements - honestly - the more socially competent you probably are. However, you should monitor and assess this over a longer period of time .

Those who can only "accept" compromises or only sometimes understand the motives of others have good assets, but perhaps no real competence .

Social Competence Test: How socially competent am I?
Do you fancy a few self-tests on social skills ? Then click through our three tests and questionnaires (with resolution). These are not specific to social compe- tence, but contain essential factors:

Are you a good listener ?
Which of the 4 types of colleagues do you belong to?
How nice are you really?
Test yourself: 33 free self-tests on personality, job, intelligence

Promote social skills: how to prove social competence
Talking is perhaps the most central skill to prove social competence. Whether in the interview phases of a job interview , in a meeting or in small talk - if you say a lot, you do not have to be able to communicate well.

Communication strength reveals itself not only in eloquence, but also in the ...


Can listen
Understand and understand
Mediate and explain
Arguing and debating
Silence
All these skills can fortunately be learned and trained . The more pronounced they are, the more sovereign, self-confident and charismatic these people are.

You do not have to prove anything to anyone or anything anymore, but you can engage with the other objectively .

So many a personals provokes his opponent therefore sometimes with tricky catches to see how the candidate reacts:

Is he staying calm and respectful ?
Does he deal with the question (and the arguments) factually, agree - but without becoming personal?
Ultimately, it is about having quite an opinion of their own and to represent them, possibly even to convince them, but also to prove enough tolerance to dissenters .

However, social skills can also be promoted and proven in some other places . For example:

reliability
Always keep what you promise and never promise more than you can deliver. Everything else leads to product disappointment - and harms your social reputation, the proverbial obituary.

helpfulness
Kindness and helpfulness seem like a boomerang: they are a document of competence and care, of commitment and empathy, of a wealth of knowledge and a wealth of experience. Ultimately, the helpful person proves that he also keeps an eye on others and their needs. And by the way , helpfulness also makes you healthy .

willingness to learn
Learn from others and others. You do not prove genius by pretending that you can do everything. No one can do that. Take advice, learn from the experiences of others - and pass on the knowledge on their part. Thus, who shares knowledge indirectly proves social competence.

patience
As part of self-control and frustration tolerance, patience is a central core virtue. Scientists today agree: besides intelligence and talent, waiting can be a key to career and life success. Those who can resist spontaneous impulses and remain relaxed in defeats usually earn more, live healthier and, on top of that, are happier.

self reflection
Specialist knowledge, strategic thinking, practical experience - that's hardly the case today for a career starter. However, self-reflection is essential for the development, including social ones. Socially competent people therefore use their free time at least occasionally to clarify what was good, what is in need of improvement, what they have learned, what mistakes they made, what skills they have developed and what must be the next step. Only those who know who he is and what he can do can contribute to the team.

But why is it so important?

Of course, hard facts and qualifications such as a sound education, a degree or proven professional experience and achievements continue to count . However, the fact is: our modern, modern professional world is developing very fast.

The half-life of expertise sometimes drops every few months. Social competence is an essential constant that preserves the coexistence of unavoidable changes and ultimately helps to adapt and further develop the corporate culture and organization in the course of change - without too much friction loss.

Anyone who has social skills, cares for them and trains them, not least ensures their own career development.

The art of being authentic

Authenticity, sincerity, authenticity - what is that? Do not we all play any roles, every day? Day in, day out, we meet job expectations, cater for stereotypes, meet gender or status stereotypes in the office, adapt or play roles in privacy to please others, to provoke, or to be respected, as needed. But is that still real then - or a fist-thick life lie? It is understandable that in many of us the longing for authenticity is growing, the desire for being instead of appearance. After that, to take off the masks, to be genuine and above all that: authentic . But is that even possible - and if so how?

Authenticity: The art of being authentic

Definition and meaning: What is authenticity?
Definition and meaning: What is authenticity?  The art of being authenticHardly any term has been mentioned and requested in the past as often as the one to be authentic . Google alone now finds around 10.4 million entries for the search term "authentic", three years ago it was only 1.1 million hits. So great is the longing for the real today.

Accordingly, the noun authenticity is often translated today as "authenticity". If something is considered authentic , then by definition it has been checked for authenticity and found to be original . This applies to things or documents as well as to humans. Only let that of course harder to check. That is why we often try to use other criteria - such as the correspondence of speeches, actions, feelings or ways of thinking of a person.

The etymological consideration of the concept might therefore purposeful: So derives the word authenticity from the Greek authentikós from: "cars" means self and "ontos" be . Being authentic means translating as much as being yourself .

Authentic Being Definition Meaning Graphic
Authentic people are generally true, unaffected, open and relaxed. An authentic person radiates that he stands by himself, his strengths and weaknesses. He is in a sense in harmony with himself and that also feels the environment.

Synonyms for authenticity are:

credibility
reliability
genuineness
truthfulness
By the way, what do you associate with being " authentic "? Not to be bent ? To be upright? Credible, reliable, genuine? Do not make lazy compromises?

Actually, I am very different, I come only too rarely. You will soon make acquaintance here, I know as little as you.

This is what Udo Lindenberg and Jan Delay sing in their hit "Quite Different". The first half of the quote actually comes from someone else: the Austro-Hungarian writer Ödön von Horváth and his work "Zur schönen Aussicht". Behind the statement is the desire to know oneself better, and the yearning for truth and truthfulness - for authenticity.

In fact, many already find their counterpart believable when they behave according to their own ideas. People with rough edges, on the other hand, are latently suspected of having something up their sleeve. So it comes to the grotesque situation that in the end those are perceived as particularly authentic, who play their role particularly convincing or behave as we expect them to.

So are these indications really enough?

Although the desire for the authentic is growing everywhere, the internet in everyday life often seduces us to the opposite. It allows us, for example, the anonymity as well as a kind of digital puzzle game from the different facets of our personality : On Facebook, we are the nice buddy with the exciting party life; On Instagram, we play trendsetters and happy influencers, on Xing we are again quite professional: sober, factual, serious.

Partly that is even wanted. Self-marketing is not just a modern trend. Your own reputation, the virtually designed image and the online reputation have long been an important career factor for your professional success. The optimization of the self and the right façade to become a personality brand . What comes out is often even more perfect than the original .

But this raises questions :

What is still real ?
How long does the one who acts like that still remain real ?
Where does the legal self-promotion end and where does the opportune bluff begin ?

The 4 criteria of authenticity
In fact, in the past, many scientists have studied authenticity and tried to measure it in some way, or at least to make it more precise. For example, social psychologists Michael Kernis and Brian Goldman of the University of Georgia distinguish four criteria ( PDF ) that must be met in order for us to see ourselves as authentic:

Awareness.
We need to know our strengths and weaknesses as well as our feelings and motives, that is why we behave either way. Only through this self-reflection , we are able to consciously experience and influence our actions.

Honesty.
Unfortunately, we tend to see people more beautiful than we are. Even proverbial. So there is an amusing attempt by Nicholas Epley and Erin Whitchurch with portrait photos and variations brightened by Photoshop. When asked which of the photos the subjects themselves show, they decided each time for the aufgehübschte photo. If, on the other hand, they identify the portraits of other participants, they easily choose the untreated, authentic face. Sad, but true: If you want to be authentic, you have to face reality and also accept unpleasant feedback - be it visually or verbally.

Consequence.
If you have values, you should act accordingly. This also applies to once set priorities or in the event that one thereby disadvantages. Hardly anything seems more dishonest and fake than an opportunist.

Sincerity.
Of course, you can maintain a beautiful picture for a while. It has to be a bit of a show and all that. But not when it comes to authenticity. If you want to be true, you have to show the greatness to reveal your negative sides as well.

Authenticity therefore always begins with oneself. Anyone who tries to fulfill roles and stereotypes moves away from them, may be popular, but often also opportune and spurious.


The art of being authentic - despite development
But even if self-image and alien image are in harmony, that does not mean that we have to stay as we are.

Our personality is not a cemented condition. We are constantly evolving. Not only our abilities and competences - also personality traits are changeable. It is true that a wallflower does not necessarily become a rampwark. But we change our identity on average every 20 years, so at least the result of a study by Margaret King and Jamie O'Boyle. Thereafter, the typical adjustment phases are approximately in the respective ages between 15 and 20, 35 to 40, 55 to 60 and over 75 years.

The completed, finished man , who is the way he is, is therefore an illusion. So we can still be authentic, even if others say, "You've changed!" Authenticity is not synonymous with conformity . The decisive factor is truthfulness towards ourselves.

Stay Authentic Authenticity Graphic
Is authenticity glorified unjustly?
Truthfulness now has a bright appearance. It shines particularly brightly in times in which fraud and corruption of the Beletage cling and authenticity (as well as transparency) mutate into a hastily put on penitential dress. Then the truly honest appearance even outshines that which is in the dress: personality.

He who pretends to be dishonest; who adapts as an opportunist; who is open to everything, can not be very close. But who is who he is, at least he has the makings of the original ... Holy, holy - glory, glory!

In Wikipedia , for example, there is another definition of authenticity:

Applied to persons, authenticity means that a person's actions are not determined by external influences, but are based on the person himself.

It's easy to read, but demands a lot from us in everyday life. It means not making lazy compromises , staying true to oneself and upholding your beliefs and acting on them.

But is that enough to transfigure Authenticity as such desirable ?

Do not get me wrong: there is nothing wrong with honest skin . Not at all. But in part, it is nothing more than a scam, an abundantly transparent one, in which the authentic is declared the only true value and thus embodies all the qualities that a role model needs today.

Authenticity can be like an iceberg in the Arctic Sea: imposing on the surface, but underneath lurks the danger.

Authenticity per se ennobles the office nerd as well as the head supporter and the despot.
She transfigures the calculating egoist into a courageous warhorse and
the eternally nagging Doichtgut to the valuable lateral thinker.
They are just like that - but at least they stand by and remain true ... Great. What can the pit bull already do for biting everyone? Ouch!


The art of staying authentic
From the twin research is today known that the genes take at most 20 to 50 percent influence on the character of a human. The rest is free will. Or in the words Epikets:

First, make it clear to yourself what you want to be; and then do what you have to do.

The asshole may well mean that it's an asshole . At any rate, its authenticity does not ennoble the excrement into a 5-course meal.

It is not the authentic that deserves our admiration , but the gift of recognizing, preserving and living real values. Not who you are today is the goal, but who you want to be - and if possible in a better version than the current one.

It's the art of walking with you without going the wrong direction .

Those who make mistakes, recognize them, can adapt and change - and still remain authentic . This is not a contradiction, on the contrary: the change of thinking and acting is also part of the true personality development. And an essential characteristic of authenticity.

Conversely, if you are looking for the authentic, you must also be prepared to experience, endure and live with rough edges. He must be willing to value other opinions, different ways of thinking and acting and - despite all the friction - to see enrichment, or maybe even for that very reason.

Many can not do that, which unfortunately can often be observed on the internet. They push their (partly unfounded and unreflected) convictions in front of them and comment on the motto: Who does not agree with me, must be an idiot.

To be honest, whoever acts in this way may still be authentic in a certain way, but it also proves mental immaturity .

And maybe that's the true art of staying authentic: being honest and faithful to living changing and practicing tolerance to the otherwise authentic. And let it be an incentive for only one, an impulse for the other and a leader for the third.

11 reasons why it pays to stay true to yourself
It is not always easy to be true to oneself. You want to impress the boss or be liked by the colleagues and play a role, because you think you arrive at it better. But who is permanently misjudged will be unhappy with it. What happens when you stand by yourself:

They become stronger mentally.
Your self-esteem no longer depends on your fellow human beings. You are proud of your strengths, but you also accept your mistakes and weaknesses. Criticism no longer hits you so hard because you no longer perceive it as a personal attack.

You will have more fun.
Her charisma is changing. They will go through life much freer. You do not always have the feeling that you have to make everyone else right and bend, but you also dare to do what you feel like doing. Their dealings with your fellow human beings are changing and becoming more relaxed.

You will know what you want.
Those who are true to themselves also pay attention to their own needs. You will have the courage to live your life as you see fit. The goals you are working towards are not alien but come from you.

You will make decisions easier.
You no longer have to ask yourself what others are thinking about everything you do. Your decisions only justify themselves to you. That makes you more courageous in your decisions.

You will get more respect.
Everyone wants to get respect and recognition from their fellow human beings, and some mistakenly think that you will receive it when you become a yes-man and make it all right. But the flag in the wind is just a fellow traveler. People who have a strong opinion may not be liked by everyone, but those who like you will respect them as well.

They will respect themselves more.
Anyone who changes their minds can no longer feel like it at some point. To please the colleague, one has again held with his own opinion behind the mountain. Especially when the role you play contradicts your own values, you secretly despise them. Those who stand by their values ​​and attitudes can also respect themselves.

You will doubt less about yourself.
If you are authentic, show yourself how you are and you are well aware of that. You know yourself, you know your motives, your thoughts and feelings. This allows you to act consciously and in accordance with the situation and to use your resources in a self-reflective manner. As a result, you also know where your limits are and what you can achieve.

They will be proud of themselves.
Anyone who manages to stand by himself in difficult situations has a good feeling for it. If, for example, you were able to show your limits to your boss or colleagues, you will be proud of your self-confidence and your courage.

You will be more relaxed.
It takes a lot of effort to adjust or play a role that seems to be better or more in demand. Every day you have to tackle your nature, pretend, hide, act. For a while, that is certain if the target seems attractive enough. Not having to pretend anymore will be a relief.

They become the model for others.
Remembering your fellow human beings that you are not afraid to stand by yourself encourages them to follow you. Your behavior signals to others that there is no reason to pretend.

You will be more successful.
If you are authentic, live in accordance with your values, you are in flow . So in the long term, they are also more stress- and crisis-resistant. In addition, authentic people are particularly popular and highly regarded. Then success will not be long in coming.

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